Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
this boner is exhausting
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
