Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
