This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
