I wannas sexs uuuuu
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My balls are so social today.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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