her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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