Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
