I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
