she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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