remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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