singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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