We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
