Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
