Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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