Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
