Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
