So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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