her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
