Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
