Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
