Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
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