Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
