bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize