She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Who put my cat in the fridge?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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