My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
