Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Enjoy the penises
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
