Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
