I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
