are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
