ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
and you said cock pushups were impossible
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
