what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
being pregnant is like rehab
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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