He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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