I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
