forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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