Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i now understand why vodka
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
