You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
