How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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