i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
My vagina is very pro this idea
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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