We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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