I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
