Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
