The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
