new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
