so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
