i think my tv is drunk
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
