if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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