Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
vagina is talking i cant
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
