Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
