I'm jealous of your bromance
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
