The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
