I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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