you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
