I'm going to rape someone's good day.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
