Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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