The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
