Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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