I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
