I think my fart just growled at me.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
