Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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