Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
