marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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