Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
