I only kidnapped one of them. chill
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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