32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
