it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you mean i was at the winter classic?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It's never too late to be topless.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
