I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
