Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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