White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize