I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
