Whatcha textin bout Willis?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
