How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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