Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?

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(205): View more from Alabama

Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut

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(720): View more from Colorado

I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"

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(425): View more from Washington

How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.

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