Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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