she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
