I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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