Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
