Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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