A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
honey bunches of taint.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
