we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
