I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
