Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
