redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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