Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize