We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
