Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
