Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
