i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize