this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
