it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
